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Last night I couldn't sleep. Well, ok I did eventually conk out, but my mind was just going for like 2 or so hours.

But in the end, it wasn't going anywhere. It was all, "It would be nice if..." and "Man, I wish..." and "My current situation sucks."

I have all these things I want to do, but I never really want to take even the first step towards them.

I hate that shit.

I mean, really, it FUCKING SUCKS.

BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN CHANGE.

Too comfortable. Too fucking comfortable.

I think I need to spend myself broke before I start to panic and am actually forced to make a change. Because even now, when I should be looking for a job where I'm not dipping into savings every month, I'm not.

I don't know what I want, but I know it's not this.

That's actually the title of a book we sell. Too bad, the title's good but skimming through, don't think the book's any good. Too dated, or too ramble-y.

Forget reading about what to do, I need to DO.



But I can't.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
aquila1nz
Apr. 8th, 2009 06:04 am (UTC)
I have absolutely no answers but *hug*

krazykased
Apr. 8th, 2009 09:06 am (UTC)
Feel Better
I was the same way for a bit. I think small steps are the key. Instead of trying to get everything you want at once, try doing one thing everyday that gets you toward that goal. Maybe it's buying a paper to looks through the hiring ads, or maybe requesting a brochure from grad school. Then build from there. Although that spending yourself to poverty also helps. :-D Go to China for 6 months, live on your own for a year before that, then not work for like 6 months. Kicks your ass for sure!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )